Ethics and morals can evolve and can be taught. This is how children learn what is right and wrong. But the basic principles for a person's conduct can be found in a variety of influences. Religous teachings can be extremely powerful but civic responsibility and fear can also be powerful. Some cultures bring deviant behavior back into line with social scorn or focusing on the importance of family honor. Civic responsibilty is also important to maintain order as people follow laws, mostly because they think society is better off for having them. This also explains why some cultures will tolerate behaviors from authority that they normally would not agree with, the shame of siding against the authority or the fear of the authority and the rationalization of the behavior.
Religious or personal evolvement is a more powerful ethic as the person feels that "God is watching" or judges an action based on personal beliefs. This governs actions even without the threat of discovery. Many adults know the best way to act but rationalize behavior based on the degree of an action, the "it's not that bad" mentality. Given that ethics are taught, the prevelance of this attitude has subtley changed our ethics to one of acceptance of "mild" lapses in judgement.
To truly understand our ethics and cement the principles in us and our children, we have to present it in a variety of ways. For example, we do not steal because A)religion forbids it(if this applies) B) it is against the law C) you are hurting the person your stealing from d) you did not earn the item e) society will look unfavorably on you. For everyone, not all of these will apply and the order is up to you, but showing how this action violates many different principles seems to a have a deeper effect on people.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
What really is an "R-rated World"?
The definition of an R rating taken directly from the Motion Picture Association of America is "An R-rated motion picture, in the view of the Rating Board, contains some adult material. An R-rated motion picture may include adult themes, adult activity, hard language, intense or persistent violence, sexually-oriented nudity, drug abuse or other elements, so that parents are counseled to take this rating very seriously. Children under 17 are not allowed to attend R-rated motion pictures unaccompanied by a parent or adult guardian. Parents are strongly urged to find out more about R-rated motion pictures in determining their suitability for their children. Generally, it is not appropriate for parents to bring their young children with them to R-rated motion pictures."
So do I think that our "World" is not suitable for children under 17? Of course not, but we must constantly navigate through all of the "R rated" content that is visible and available to our children now more than ever. People posting foul language on comments about kids videos, advertising that is not appropriate for children shown on children's shows and media, movie promos for R-rated movies on the cartoon network and posters/advertising everywhere that are certainly not for kids. Heaped on top of this media assault is the casual language now prevelant in our society. It just magnifies the lack of consideration some people have for others. If someone chooses to speak that way with his friends and peers that's fine, but it is not appropriate in a public forum or around children.
So do I think that our "World" is not suitable for children under 17? Of course not, but we must constantly navigate through all of the "R rated" content that is visible and available to our children now more than ever. People posting foul language on comments about kids videos, advertising that is not appropriate for children shown on children's shows and media, movie promos for R-rated movies on the cartoon network and posters/advertising everywhere that are certainly not for kids. Heaped on top of this media assault is the casual language now prevelant in our society. It just magnifies the lack of consideration some people have for others. If someone chooses to speak that way with his friends and peers that's fine, but it is not appropriate in a public forum or around children.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Does Casual Friday Decrease Productivity?
When "casual Fridays" became widespread in the '90's, most companies did it to keep employees happy. The logic seemed sound, a happy employee would perform better. But is this really what happens? Don't show your boss the following research!
In three studies by Dr. Jeffrey Magee, a research psychologist, his company surveyed firms ranging in size from 100 employees to Fortune 500 companies. What the study found is that a casual dress code results in a relaxation of manners, ethics, productivity, absenteeism, quality, commitment, loyalty, HR complaints of behavior, foul language and tardiness. The study was so conclusive, that many companies, most notably Target, have decided to switch back to more professional clothing.
Other studies show that how a person dresses influence their behavior. People seem to act more refined when they are dressed up. So why do I bring this up? Because the casual attitude has a subtle influence on todays society. While we did need to "lighten up" in some instances, for the most part, we shouldn't lighten up when it comes to civility, manners, and etiquette. Now I'm not advocating everyone going back to the 1940's where all men wore suits and hats, but if we recognize what we are doing and how it is being eroded, we are better able to combat it.
People generally feel good when they dress up. This is when they feel they look their best. But can't we have the same type of pride and self-esteem with our casual clothes and casual attitude? Research says it's possible for some people, but most people will not take the same time to get ready when dressed casually or spend an equal amount of money on a casual wardrobe and as a result not have the same self esteem.
Clothing reflects the era, so in this "almost anything goes" casual culture, our clothing suits it very well. But there are signs of change. The fact that several companies are moving away from casual dress is an indication to me that perhaps we are slowly moving back towards a slightly more formal/respectful society. As we evolve and learn as a culture, our clothing reflects the attitudes of the times. I'm eternally optimistic that our manners/ethics/character will improve. Let's do it one person at a time.
In three studies by Dr. Jeffrey Magee, a research psychologist, his company surveyed firms ranging in size from 100 employees to Fortune 500 companies. What the study found is that a casual dress code results in a relaxation of manners, ethics, productivity, absenteeism, quality, commitment, loyalty, HR complaints of behavior, foul language and tardiness. The study was so conclusive, that many companies, most notably Target, have decided to switch back to more professional clothing.
Other studies show that how a person dresses influence their behavior. People seem to act more refined when they are dressed up. So why do I bring this up? Because the casual attitude has a subtle influence on todays society. While we did need to "lighten up" in some instances, for the most part, we shouldn't lighten up when it comes to civility, manners, and etiquette. Now I'm not advocating everyone going back to the 1940's where all men wore suits and hats, but if we recognize what we are doing and how it is being eroded, we are better able to combat it.
People generally feel good when they dress up. This is when they feel they look their best. But can't we have the same type of pride and self-esteem with our casual clothes and casual attitude? Research says it's possible for some people, but most people will not take the same time to get ready when dressed casually or spend an equal amount of money on a casual wardrobe and as a result not have the same self esteem.
Clothing reflects the era, so in this "almost anything goes" casual culture, our clothing suits it very well. But there are signs of change. The fact that several companies are moving away from casual dress is an indication to me that perhaps we are slowly moving back towards a slightly more formal/respectful society. As we evolve and learn as a culture, our clothing reflects the attitudes of the times. I'm eternally optimistic that our manners/ethics/character will improve. Let's do it one person at a time.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Manners - How Important Are They?
Most studies show the over 75% of all Americans think that manners are declining. But how important are manners in the grand scheme of things? Again we can trace the decline of manners to the 1960's. As our culture became more obsessed with "I" and "me", we started to care less about others. Our community suffers as a result and we become less civil and respectful to each other. We simply don't care what others think. This sort of independence was fostered and taught to generations of children who now believe that their opinion is so precious that they have a right to be heard and expressed no matter what the situation. Independence and free thought are wonderful, but without understanding or compassion, it can be destructively self-centered. A detached, self-absorbed, independent free thinker cares nothing about the community and in our society where the loudest or wackiest get the most ink,it becomes satisfying and self promoting.
In our society, it is becoming increasing hard to have a civil debate. A respectful sharing of opinions simply doesn't happen very much anymore. From local board of education meetings to Rep. Joe Wilson yelling "You lie!" to the President during a speech to Congress, it's obvious that people are having an increasingly difficult time debating civility. To do this, we must open our minds to other possibilities and opinions. In other words we have to care what other people are thinking. We need our society to learn how to "play well with others". This means our children's have to socialize more and not spend 4 hours a day watching TV and 2 more on the computer or video games. We have to eat meals with our kids and spend quality, meaningful time with them. We have to teach them that every one's opinion counts and it's OK to disagree. Raising a thoughtful, independent, respectful, free thinking child is my life's ambition as a parent, but I know I have to struggle daily with the influences that could potentially eat away at my good intentions.
Respect and self-esteem seem to be the primary factors with this issue. A lack of respect for others and a feeling that ones opinion counts more than their neighbors. Everyone believes they are more informed or more enlightened than those with differing views. It becomes increasing hard to debate without someone taking it personally, so people have a whole host of "taboo" subjects. Twenty years ago it was common for a parent or teacher to verbally discipline another families children if they saw bad behavior. Now the fear of retribution limits it. One reason is that the standard of acceptable behavior twenty years ago was much more narrow, now the range of acceptable behavior is so wide parents don't want to comment on it.
The problem with trying to correct bad manners in today's society is that others are not shamed into better behavior anymore. If someone sees another exhibiting good manners, they frequently are not compelled to improve their own manners and may in fact ridicule them. We have to instill the independence and character of our children to withstand the assault of bad manners and retake the lost art of civility.
In our society, it is becoming increasing hard to have a civil debate. A respectful sharing of opinions simply doesn't happen very much anymore. From local board of education meetings to Rep. Joe Wilson yelling "You lie!" to the President during a speech to Congress, it's obvious that people are having an increasingly difficult time debating civility. To do this, we must open our minds to other possibilities and opinions. In other words we have to care what other people are thinking. We need our society to learn how to "play well with others". This means our children's have to socialize more and not spend 4 hours a day watching TV and 2 more on the computer or video games. We have to eat meals with our kids and spend quality, meaningful time with them. We have to teach them that every one's opinion counts and it's OK to disagree. Raising a thoughtful, independent, respectful, free thinking child is my life's ambition as a parent, but I know I have to struggle daily with the influences that could potentially eat away at my good intentions.
Respect and self-esteem seem to be the primary factors with this issue. A lack of respect for others and a feeling that ones opinion counts more than their neighbors. Everyone believes they are more informed or more enlightened than those with differing views. It becomes increasing hard to debate without someone taking it personally, so people have a whole host of "taboo" subjects. Twenty years ago it was common for a parent or teacher to verbally discipline another families children if they saw bad behavior. Now the fear of retribution limits it. One reason is that the standard of acceptable behavior twenty years ago was much more narrow, now the range of acceptable behavior is so wide parents don't want to comment on it.
The problem with trying to correct bad manners in today's society is that others are not shamed into better behavior anymore. If someone sees another exhibiting good manners, they frequently are not compelled to improve their own manners and may in fact ridicule them. We have to instill the independence and character of our children to withstand the assault of bad manners and retake the lost art of civility.
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